The Will of God

The thoughts in this posting are my personal beliefs about the will of God. Read them with an open mind or don’t read them at all. It is your choice. I do not wish to get into a religious or philosophical debate. I respect that other people may have different beliefs and that is fine. I only wish to express my feelings. I am writing about this topic because it has helped me in my journey as a cancer patient and I am hoping this will help others.

When I meet a new group of people, I like to wait as long as possible before the topic of leukemia comes up in the discussion. I like people to know who I am first, before they label me as “the cancer lady.” Yes, I have cancer, but cancer does not define me.

God did not give me cancer. I was not a bad person and given cancer as a punishment. It just happened. It is a consequence of one crazy cell in my body that went array with DNA damage and did not repair itself or die like a normal cell. Instead this cancer cell continued to grow out of control and form new and abnormal cells. With the trillions of cells in the human body, it is more of a surprise that this does not happen more often. According to the American Cancer Society, half of all men and one-third of all women in the United States will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime.

When someone in your family develops cancer or dies, I often hear the words “That is the will of God.” I am sorry my friend, but that is NOT the will of God. I know it may comfort some to hear that it is the will of God, but I personally get no comfort from a lie. I want the truth. The intentional will of God is for perfect health and goodness.

The battle against cancer is the will of God. I give so much gratitude and love to those wonderful researchers and physicians who have made it their life purpose to find a cure for cancer.

Getting back to the topic of when bad things happen:

What happens is that either the free will of man (or woman) or the natural laws of the universe lead to consequences. Let’s say that a person with a gun makes the decision to shoot another person. That is free will. The bullet penetrates a part of the body that is required to sustain human life and the person dies. That is natural law. God did not will this act.

Here’s another example: A soldier is exposed to Agent Orange fighting for his country. Later he develops cancer. God did not will this. This is natural law.

There is a mystery about why things happen. The longer I live, the more questions I have unanswered. I have come to understand that is because I am not all-knowing. As a human being I do not have all the answers. I just have to have faith and trust that some day in my afterlife I will come to understand.

What I do know is that it is important to take the circumstances in which you have found yourself (either by your own free will or the laws of nature) and make something good out of it. God can use a healthy person more effectively than a person with cancer; however, if you have the right attitude toward your circumstances, you can do as much good or more than a healthy person. That is where the spirit comes in.

“In the end, only three things matter:

how much you loved,

how gently you lived,

and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”

- - Buddha