Fear Busting

Being diagnosed with cancer has a way of making us vulnerable to our own mortality. It brings about the fear factor. Many of our fears in this journey are valid and many are unfounded and cause a lot of misery in life. Today I thought I would tell you what I have learned about being faced with a fearful situation.

If we are faced with a potentially dangerous situation – emotionally or physically – fear kicks in. This response is the way we as humans protect ourselves from life-or-death situations -- real threats. The key words are “real threats.” But many times FEAR is “False Evidence Appearing Real” (Garcy, P.D., 2013).

Regardless whether fear is real or imagined, it still has the same effect on your body and your mind. To some, fear is emotionally and physically paralyzing, and the ability to rationally process information is lost. To others, personal demons and patterns of habitual thinking trigger responses that result in unnecessary anxiety and a series of “What ifs?” Others who hide their fear often go on the attack.

I personally avoid making potentially life-changing decisions if I am in this state of mind. I focus on calming myself. I breathe through my nostrils and into my belly and out through my mouth. I meditate and pray. I focus on the here and now, not on any future event that may or may not occur. I tell myself, “STOP!” and I focus to prevent my imagination from going wild. I calm myself.

Then I ask myself, “Do I have any control as to the outcome of the situation?” If no, then I have to let it go.

Then I ask myself:  “What are the facts?” “What is the worst-case scenario?” “What is my plan?”  “Who can help me?” There is always a plan to be made and always resources to be found. The best time to make this plan is when you are calm on the inside and thinking rationally. Even not doing anything is a decision. I make at least two options: Plan A and Plan B. In my life, there is often a Plan C. When I am faced with a stressful situation, I have plans in place. If Plan A does not work, I go on to Plan B. The best option is to be proactive and have these plans in place before a crisis occurs. Yes, I know… in a perfect world.

It helps me to find even the smallest increment of the situation that I can face without anxiety. I say to myself, “I can do that!”

After I take care of that small piece of fear, I ask myself, “What other small step can I do to work my way through this dilemma? I find that for me it is achievable to work my way through a situation in small pieces. That way it does not become emotionally overwhelming.

Many times when people are anxious they avoid doing tasks that appear to be challenging, because of fear of failure. Again, take baby steps. Stand tall and confident. Make your body control your mind. The thoughts that enter your mind have a direct effect on turning around the fear factor.

I wake up every morning and count my blessings. I am so grateful that I have the honor of this day. I am not going to waste it being afraid of everything that comes my way.