Life According to MaMa La Verne (a.k.a Cancer and Comedy)

I was once called the EverReady Bunny.  
That was B.C. (before cancer).

I am now the Velveteen Rabbit.

My life is now filled with things that bring me joy: painting, writing, tai chi, my husband Carl, my children, my friends, my grandbabies, being a patient advocate, a political activist, and dabbling in comedy.

Why comedy?

comedy (def.) = a performance, play, movie, novel, etc., in which the central motif is the triumph over adverse circumstances that is meant to make people laugh

So how did I go from being a serious university professor and researcher to dabbling in stand-up comedy as MaMa La Verne? Well the answer is simple. You either laugh at your horrific situation and find humor in it … or you spend your time crying your eyes out. – not to say I haven’t done both. The truth is that cancer patients need the laughter because humor is therapeutic. It replenishes our souls and helps keep the love and gratitude in our lives.

Trying stand-up comedy was on my bucket list as soon as I reached remission. I needed to laugh, so I decided I would take a joke writing class at our local Tempe Center for the Arts with comedian Tony Vicich. Then I took a stand-up comedy delivery class from Tony. I performed three times as MaMa La Verne. I truly do not deserve to be called a stand-up comic. I am a stand-up dabbler. My goal is to use humor as a therapy for cancer patients. My greatest joy with comedy has been to see others learn to laugh at life.

Then one day one of my aspiring comedian friends Diane confided in me that she had been diagnosed with a blood cancer and was going through the medical tests. I guess it is no longer a secret. LOL. I looked at her and said, “We are going to put together a comedy duet and perform for cancer patients. We can say things to them that only cancer patients can say to each other, because we have a demented sense of humor. She chuckled. My brain started clicking away …

Hmmm. So I thought I would lose my hair during treatment, but my hair turned from straight to wavy for two years. It was my husband who lost his hair. (LOL)

So Monday Diane and I are meeting at the local U.S. Egg for a think tank session. It will be therapeutic.

LIFE ACCORDING TO MAMA La VERNE:

I have 10 life lessons to share. 

1. Attitude counts

It is the only thing you can control in your life.

I often get asked if a positive attitude helps in the length of time one survives when battling cancer. A scientific study found that positive patients do not necessarily live longer than grouchy ones, but the people they live with have a better quality of life. (LOL)

2. Live well and choose to be happy.

Don’t just survive. We are more than cancer survivors.

Surviving has nothing to do with being happy.

Survival is on the lowest level of Maslow’s Pyramid.

Choose to be happy.

Do not be a victim. Do not let cancer define you.

I am not the Cancer Lady. I am La Verne, who happens to be battling a thing called cancer. And for Halloween I am going to dress up as a lab rat.

3. Show gratitude and love.

“Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” – Aesop

Practice gratitude and love every day because it is an antidote for taking people for granted.

4. Laugh or smile every day

If gratitude is the antidote for taking people for granted, then laughter is the antidote for turning a diagnosis of cancer into a triumphant life.

Laughter has many benefits – physically, mentally, and gives people an overall sense of well-being.

One scientific study found the use of humor leads to an increase in pain tolerance, because it releases endorphins that help control pain and decreases stress hormones.

Now my brain is clicking away again …. So I try to laugh or smile every day because I know that when I die, I am going to heaven. I have thought about going to heaven for the climate and to hell for the company.

                                                                                                                 

6. Live today

People who live in the future are often anxious because they worry about things that haven’t happened yet. Living in the past becomes a problem because it robs you of the opportunity to enjoy the present. It allows you to avoid dealing with issues in the present.

7. Simplify your life.

There is a silver lining to having cancer. I used to have a difficult time telling people, “No.” Now I just say, “I have cancer,” and they don’t ask me to do anything. I should have used that excuse years ago. LOL

8. Avoid toxic people

Surround yourself with people and things that bring you joy.

During my journey to remission in my clinical trial some insensitive people would ask me, “Are you sure you really have cancer? You don’t look sick.”

I guess that’s why they call blood cancer the invisible disease. If you have it, you want the person who asks you those types of questions to disappear.

9. Form a support system

It’s important not to do this cancer journey by yourself. Friends are important. They are like bras. Keep them close to your heart and here for support. (LOL)

10. Let go, but do not give your power away to cancer.

Living with cancer is a constant dance between holding on and letting go. Meditate. Do Tai Chi or yoga. Listen to music, Paint. Write poetry. Run. Dance. Whatever helps you to center yourself.

In the end what matters most is how well you lived, how well you loved, how well you learned to let go, and how much you laughed.