I WILL NOT LOSE HEART

Scripture tells us: "... do not lose heart, but I am heart-broken. It is the unexpectedness of death that causes despair. I think of those sweet little children and caring adults in Connecticut, who lost their lives… such a senseless act of violence. I cannot imagine the pain those families must endure.

Another heartbreak happens when we are blind sighted by the sudden death of a positive person, who is feeling better than ever, who says that life is good, and hope for cancer maintenance or cure is within his reach. When I start to feel really good and a little complacent about my situation, it is then that reality shakes me to the core.

The CLL/SLL community just lost a cancer warrior. Today in Lake Stevens, Washington, was the memorial service of Randy Shirley, who was a participant in the ABT-199 clinical trial. He was 55-years-old when he died. Just like most of us on the kinase inhibitors, on Monday Randy remarked that he felt better than he had since he was diagnosed. Randy’s drug dosage was increased Tuesday. Wednesday he died. This was reported by Dr. Brian Koffman (http://bkoffman.blogspot.com/2012/12/randy-shirley-another-cll-warrior-passes.html).

There are a number of us who have volunteered in clinical trials to be participants in testing kinase inhibitors to manage CLL/SLL (Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia/Small Lymphocytic Lymphoma). The three drugs that are presently being tested are: (1) ABT-199, (2) GS-1101 (formerly known as CAL-101), and (3) Ibrutinib (formerly known as PCI-32765).

I knew Randy virtually from an interactive site about leukemia. He was an optimistic soul. He did not let leukemia own him. Randy’s motto was “Never, ever give up!” Randy was not supposed to die. The cancer treatment was working for him. So you see, the reality is that life is fragile and you can still die, even if you are upbeat and proactive.

I used to say that anyone can die walking across the street and getting hit by a truck. I don’t say that anymore, because it minimizes the daily struggle of a cancer patient.

Even though I am heart-broken, I have not lost heart and I have not lost hope. I know that a positive and warrior attitude will make my life’s journey a quality one. I will still take my chances and live my life with gusto, gratitude and love. I will not live in fear. And I will thank God for every single day I have on this earth with the people I love.

WHAT IS HOPE?

Esparanza…

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

― Shel Silverstein

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, HOPE means “to desire with expectation of obtainment.” Wikipedia contributors state that “Hope is the emotional state which promotes the belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Despair is the opposite of hope.”

This weekend the 54^th Annual Meeting of the American Society of Hematology (ASH) is underway in Atlanta, Georgia. My doctors at National Institutes of Health (NIH) in Bethesda, Maryland, and M.D. Anderson in Houston are presenting their findings on the magical drug Ibrutinib (formerly PCI-32765), along with other leukemia experts from The Ohio State University. The phrases “promising,” “has the potential to improve long-term prognosis for patients,” “high response rates,” “durable remissions,” “including patients with high-risk disease (me),” “effective and safe targeted treatment option,” “manageable toxicities,” give me hope.

Let me review what chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) is for those of you who asked. It is a blood cancer that causes malignant white blood cells to gather in the lymph nodes, bone marrow, blood, and other organs of the body. The cancerous cells causes organs to enlarge, bone marrow to be so impacted that it cannot produce red blood cells, lymph nodes to enlarge to the point that it impacts other organs of the body, and white blood cells increase exponentially in the bloodstream, since the malignant cells do not have the message to die.

Ibrutinib, which is the experimental drug I am taking at NIH, is an anti-cancer therapy that specifically targets an enzyme that is important to the growth of CLL. The enzyme is called Bruton’s tyrosine kinase (BTK). Ibrutinib “unhooks” the leukemia cells from the lymph nodes, bone marrow, and organs. The “unhooked” leukemia cells then flow into the blood stream causing a temporary increase in white blood count (WBC). Ibrutinib also gives the leukemic cells the message to die, so once the cells enter the blood, they essentially starve and die. An important thing to know is that unlike chemotherapy, Ibrutinib promotes the death of the malignant cells and does not harm healthy cells.

Today there is no knowledge of the long-term side effects of using the drug. Today there is no knowledge of when the drug stops working. But today for me, HOPE comes in the form of three blue capsules a day…

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.”

― Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

P.S.: Thank you Rocky and Liz for naming my granddaughter “Hope.”

BEGINNING CYCLE 6: I HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT

My “drug run” was successful. Just got back from National Institutes of Health (NIH) in Bethesda, Maryland at midnight. Couldn’t get a direct flight back to Phoenix, so I had to fly to Las Vegas and then wait for a connection to Phoenix. Never-the-less, it was worth it. The experimental drug Ibrutinib (PCI-32765) has caused my white blood count (WBC) to continue a downward trend to 53,000, which is the WBC I was at exactly two years ago. This is a very good thing. This makes me feel like I have been gifted those two years. One of my clinical brothers (Matt) has actually normalized, and his WBC is now in the high normal range. I am so happy for him.

I met more participants in the trial on Friday and we exchanged lots of information about our progress on the drug. Many of us don’t shake hands. Many of us have even moved past the Obama knuckle bumping. We decided for health reasons that we will do elbow bumping when we greet and leave each other. I – on the other hand – carry antibiotic gel with me, just in case I need to touch someone’s hand. I’ve still got my mother’s European need for human contact in me.

OUR COMPROMISED IMMUNE SYSTEMS

One of the clinical trial participants continues to have Immunoglobin infusions (IVIG), even when her numbers are above the recommended number to receive infusions, in order to prevent bouts of pneumonia. Her WBC is almost in the normal range and she has been taking Ibrutinib three months longer than me. Even though we have been getting positive results from Ibrutinib, our compromised immune systems will probably always be susceptible to viral and bacterial infections, so extra care must be taken so that a common cold does not transform into deadly pneumonia that lands us in the hospital.

Saline solutions and a room humidifier (Honeywell was recommended by a participant) are helpful to prevent the bloody noses and/or the breathing problems. No Neti Pots, according to some of the participants, because the nostrils are a direct passageway to the brain. Not using distilled water, or not properly cleaning the Neti Pot can cause death through brain infections. See

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/03/rare-infection-prompts-neti-pot-warning/

http://www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo/2012/08/27/how-not-to-die-using-a-neti-pot/

DRUG COMPANY DISCUSSION

NIH had a discussion with the drug company, based on the ordeal we all went through with cancelled flights to the East Coast due to Hurricane Sandy. They gave us extra pills to tide us over in case of another weather crisis. We are all thrilled.

SIDE EFFECTS

My side effects this month have been nothing to write about. I have just noticed that it takes longer for me to heal from even a mild scratch. I still get slight stiffness or cramping in my hamstring muscles and my thumbs, especially if I am exposed to cold or hold a position too long. Because the drug often causes internal bleeding, I am not surprised that blood was found in my colon, so off to the colonoscopy doctor I go. What a pain in the butt! LOL.

I have gotten over my fear of needles and am no longer as ticklish as I have always been. When you are poked and prodded so many times, it becomes your new normal.

BLOOD TEST

• My morphology report indicates that I have giant thrombocytes (platelets). According to the experts, this could be fragments from the CLL cells, and should be of no concern.

• I also have a rare teardrop-shaped red blood cells, which is a technicality, and have more than likely been caused my the CLL cells.

• I have mild hypochromasia, which means I have a mild anemic condition due to a deficiency of hemoglobin in the red blood cells.

• My LDH is normal, which is great.

• My kidneys and liver are normal.

• My GP discovered that I am Vitamin D3 deficient, so I have increased my Vitamin D3.

• My local oncologist/hematologist continues to give me monthly B12 shots, since I was diagnosed B12 deficient when I first was diagnosed with leukemia.

AND IN SUMMARY

The research team met with me and were pleased that I wrote a letter to President Obama about the value of the NIH funding. NIH and this clinical trial has been my lifeline. So I have absolutely nothing to complain about.

Reposting of Dr. Brian Koffman's post on Ibrutinib Creators

Thank you, Dr. Brian, for this wonderful post about the inventors of our miracle drug.

Now a Word from the Creators:
The Team who Designed and Synthesized the Molecule now called Ibrutinib

http://bkoffman.blogspot.com/2012/11/now-word-from-creators-team-who.html

MORE LEUKEMIA RESEARCH TO SMILE ABOUT

Well  Thanksgiving is over, but my gratitude is not. I am grateful for my family, my friends, my online CLL friends, and the amazing researchers and staff at the National Institutes of Health. How very blessed I am to have the opportunity of being in the NIH ibrutinib clinical trial. I am grateful to have my 15 minutes of fame on this earth by being a participant.

Dr. Mohammed Farooqui will be presenting some of his findings from our clinical trial at the American Society of Hematology in Atlanta, Georgia in December 8-11. One of his findings is that platelet function does not seem to be affected negatively for participants on the experimental drug ibrutinib.

His abstract can be found at this link:
https://ash.confex.com/ash/2012/webprogram/Paper50250.html

My friend Michael Novak also alerted me to a new finding in the leukemia world. Dr. Robert Weinkove is a Clinical Research Fellow at the Malaghan Institute of Medical Research in New Zealand. His research focuses on vaccinating leukemia patients through stimulating the activity of an immune cell called invariant natural killer T (iNKT). This is another targeted immune therapy.

Here is the link, if you would like to read the entire article:
http://www.malaghan.org.nz/news-and-events/boosting-immune-responses-against-leukaemia/
http://sciencealert.com.au/news-nz/20122011-23865-2.html

We are at the brink of discovery. The maintenance of leukemia for high-risk patients, and perhaps even the cure are right around the corner.

I am headed out to Bethesda, Maryland next week. I will be posting the results of my tests after I return.

HAPPY DANCE TIME AGAIN

Boy, did I have a wonderful trip to National Institutes of Health in spite of the scare that my flight could have been cancelled because of Hurricane Sandy. George and Matt (my PCI brothers), who began the clinical trial on the same day as me, both made it to NIH, and that made me very happy. I had dinner with my cousin Sammy, who works at NASA, had two non-stop flights, sat in the window seat each flight, read half of my book, slept on the plane on my way home, chatted and laughed with my wonderful OP7 (Outpatient Floor 7) friends, had my Chi Tea latte non-fat vente… Who could ask for anything more?

I delivered a copy of the letter I sent to President Obama about NIH and the request for continued funding to the NIH research staff. This is the way medical care should be done. I am forever grateful and I cannot say it enough.

One issue that needed to be addressed was the Hurricane Sandy and flight cancellation situation. We discussed this with the research nurse and found out that according to the drug company, Ibrutinib cannot be shipped to us, if a disaster happens again. It must be picked up in person. This is not very logical to me. If another disaster happens, it seems like we should be able to get local outpatient blood work that could be expedited and faxed to NIH. Then if our neutrophils are high enough, we should qualify for the next supply of the drug. NIH is talking with the drug company again about this. Sounds like the drug company needs a Plan B.

In a prior post I mentioned that as of October 4, 2012 the clinical trial at National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland (NCT01500733) has been suspended and is currently under review. I emailed those who asked what this implies. I will repeat it again. What this means is that existing participants are not affected. New participants waiting to start the drug may have a little delay. This is normal procedure in reviewing a clinical trial at NIH.

THE GOOD NEWS!

My white blood cell count has continued to go down from 84,500 to 68,170 (another 16,330). I am now beginning Cycle 5 of Ibrutinib. Everything is headed in the right direction. Everyone I have talked to at the trial is responding well or at least maintaining. We are the happy people sitting in the OP7 lobby.

SIDE EFFECTS FOR CYCLE 4

These are my side effects for Cycle 4, which may or may not have been caused by the drug:

• At the beginning of Cycle 4 (October 7) I returned home from a grueling 7½ hour flight from Baltimore. My left side, my left waist and my left back were so sore it almost took my breath away. It felt like a constant cramp that lasted three days. I had difficulty sleeping for a few nights and started getting concerned that I was bleeding internally or something was wrong with my kidney, and of course, none of that was true. It was my muscles that were hurting – perhaps from my cramped position on the plane ride home. I treated myself to a one-hour massage from an oncology nurse at the hospital. I have been fine since.

• About five days into Cycle 4 I ate a couple tangerines and a tomato (apparently too much acid) and the inside of my mouth paid for it. I got two blisters on the bottom of my tongue and the inside of my entire mouth (including inside lips) is very tender and sensitive. I could hardly brush my teeth without it feeling like my gums were bleeding (which they did not). This lasted about five days.

• Three-fourths of the way through Cycle 4 I noticed a red neck rash. Part of it was shaped like a perfect triangle. I also have Rosacea, so perhaps it was that. It was gone by the second day.

• Had a running nose and sneezing that lasted two days.

• At the end of Cycle 4 after arriving in hotel, I noticed the top of my left hand was covered with little numerous tiny pinhead-sized purple or red spots, which are flush with the surface of the skin. These are called Petechiae and are tiny hemorrhages within the dermal or submucosal layers. They went away after two days.

Believe me, I can live with these minor irritations.

BLOOD WORK

• I am still without monocytes, eosinophils, and basophils, but that seems par for the course.

• My LDH (lactate dehydrogenase) is 250, which is higher than normal, which is (113-226).

HOPE

This miracle drug -- Ibrutinib – has given all of us hope. So much research in targeted therapy is underway. The next step is to get access to the drug after the trial is over.

HAPPY DANCE

I got my airline ticket to NIH! Doing the HAPPY DANCE!!!

I will post when I return...

OBSTACLE

NOUN obstacle (def) = something immaterial that stands in the way and must be circumvented or surmounted;

For example: "Lack of imagination is an obstacle to one's advancement"; "The poverty of a district is an obstacle to good education"; "The filibuster was a major obstruction to the success of their plan"; “Hurricane Sandy is an obstacle to Dr. La Verne getting her ibrutinib.”

If this wasn’t so serious, I would be laughing ‘til I cried. I not only have to fight cancer, but now Hurricane Sandy is headed right to the DC/Baltimore area, where my plane is supposed to land next week and my cancer treatment drugs need to be picked up. My last day’s supply is Thursday. Stay tuned…

Blog gadget update

I just added a new gadget to my blog called FOLLOWERS. I would love for my subscribers to use that gadget by clicking on the "Join this site" button, so that I can see who is following my blog. I have had over 1,000 people viewing my blog, but I don't know who you are unless you have posted a comment, emailed me personally, or if I have seen you in person. Thank you in advance.
-- LV

WORDS of WISDOM

I had the honor of attending Chaya Venkat’s last meeting at her house in Columbia, Maryland – that is, until she “gets her mojo back.” It was really worth my while staying longer in the East Coast after my medical appointment at NIH (National Institutes of Health).

Chaya, the chief science writer for http://updates.clltopics.org/, is a priceless patient advocate for leukemia patients with all different venues of CLL/SLL. She gives relentlessly to leukemia patients. She has been my personal virtual rock, since I was diagnosed with 17p deleted malignant B-cells that have run amuck. She has been our voice, the layman’s translator of academic medical jargon, and the inspiration for us to take control of our own health. She has been the empress of all dragon slayers, but has grown weary in the battle. Chaya has been wounded too many times with the deaths of friends. She has held thousands of hands, and touched thousands of hearts. Now her heart needs a little R&R and healing, so off to India she goes. There is not enough love and gratitude to give back to that lovely woman. I personally will be forever grateful. I pray every day that she gets her mojo back…

This blog posting is a summary of the meeting topics I found most interesting to me. I am hoping this will inform those who are caretakers, as well as those who are patients.

I. TOPIC 1: DECISIONS ABOUT YOUR CANCER TREATMENT

A. When you enter a clinical trial, be aware of the informed consent.

B. Once you make a decision, “do not look back and second guess yourself, because therein lies madness…” (a quote from Chaya)

C. The buck stops with you the patient. You won’t be handed information. Don’t take it personally. You must be your own advocate.

D. Understand that the suicide rate is the highest in the oncology field. It can’t be fun watching people die.

II. TOPIC 2: FCO vs. FCR vs. BR CHEMOTHERAPY

In summary, FCO appears to work better than FCR, and FCR appears to work better than BR for most CLL/SLL patients.

A. FCO (fludarabine + cyclophosphamide + ofatumumab)

Fludarabine (trade name “Fludara”) is a purine analog that relies on a p53-dependent mechanism for cell kill; therefore, it is not as effective for 17p deleted patients.

Cyclophosphamide is an alkylating agent.

Ofatumumab (Trade name Arzerra, older name Humax-CD20) is a fully human protein that attaches to the CD20 marker. With previously treated patients who were fludarabine refractory and Campath ineligible or refractory, ofatumumab did seem to work better than Rituxan in clinical trials. Ofatumumab hangs onto the B-cell longer.

B. FCR (fludarabine + cyclophosphamide + Rituxan)

FCR is often referred to as the “gold standard.” This frontline treatment has been used successfully for a number of years. This is not a cure, however, and most patients will relapse after seven years.

Fludarabine (trade name “Fludara”) is a purine analog that relies on a p53-dependent mechanism for cell kill; therefore, it is not as effective for 17p deleted patients.

Cyclophosphamide is an alkylating agent.

Rituxan (rituximab) is a monoclonal antibody that is often called “mouse juice,” since it is made from human protein and mouse protein. It attaches to the CD20 marker.

C. BR (bendamustine + Rituxan)

Bendamustine (Treanda) is a purine analog/alkylator hybrid agent.

Rituxan (rituximab) is a monoclonal antibody that is often called “mouse juice,” since it is made from human protein and mouse protein. It attaches to the CD20 marker.

III. TOPIC 3:  INFECTIONS

A. Bacterial infections

CLL/SLL patients get bacterial infections if they do not have enough IgG in their blood work. CLL cells cannot grow up to be healthy plasma cells. Pneumonia is caused by bacterial infections. Therapy will not help IgG. The only drug that has made IGG levels go up is Revlimid (Lenalidomide).

IgG can be replaced with IVIG ($10,000 per dose). Blood from as many as 10,000 donors could be used to make a single batch of IVIG. IVIG is a blood product that is in short supply. IgA and IgM cannot be replaced.

B. Viral infections:

T-cells work with viral infections.

C. Clinical trial eligibility:

If a patient has been exposed to Hepatitis C, he or she is not eligible to participate in most clinical trials.

D. People don’t die of CLL/SLL. They die of one or more of the following:

1. secondary cancers

2. side effects of cancer treatment

3. pneumonia

E. How to prevent infections:

1. Have your Vitamin D3 level checked by you GP. Remember that excessive Vitamin D is also toxic.

2. Chew Trident sugarless gum or any gum with XYLOTOL. It is a sugar alcohol sweetener used as a sugar substitute, and bacteria can’t eat it. It essentially starves your bacteria. Xylitol is actively beneficial for dental health, reducing tooth decay to a third in regular use, and has been shown to reduce the incidence of ear infections.

3. Get inoculated. Get a pneumonia vaccine as soon as you are diagnosed. It works for five years. The longer you wait to get this inoculation, the less chance you have of it working fully. Get a flu shot every year, even if it has less of a chance of working as the time from diagnosis goes by.

4. Break the habit of touching your face.

IV. TOPIC 4:  KINASE INHIBITORS and REVLIMID

A. Ibrutinib (PCI-32765):

This is the kinase inhibitor clinical trial in which I am participating. NIH says that the drug will be FDA approved in 2-3 years. Chaya believes it will be more like 5 years until it is commercially available.

A couple participants have reported iron deficiency and being anemic due to gastro intestinal bleeding. This is a micro leak in the G.I. track – essentially a small almost unnoticeable leak that adds up over time.

B. CAL-101:

24% of the participants on the kinase inhibitor trial are suffering from Grade 3-4 pneumonia, according to Chaya.

C. Revlimid (lenalidomide), a thalidomide analogue (which caused limb abnormalities in babies when used during pregnancy) has proven to be a disappointment in treating 17p deleted patients. Overall, it has caused 80% of participants to have Grade 3-4 hematologic toxicity.

V. TOPIC 5: BONE MARROW

A. Pancytopemia means that the bone marrow is dead. This occurs in late-stage CLL/SLL. Red and white cells, as well as platelets are drastically reduced.

B. The white blood cell count and ALC (absolute lymphocyte count), which is the sum of the B and T-cell counts, are not as important as the infiltration of the:

1. bone marrow

2. spleen

3. liver

4. and lymph nodes

C. These counts are important for bone marrow health:

1. red blood count (normal range 3.93-5.22 M/uL)

2. hemoglobin (normal range 11.2-15 g/dL)

3. neutrophils (normal range 34.0-71.1%)

4. platelets (normal range 173-369 K/uL)

VI. TOPIC 6: HEALTH TRIVIA

A. The basal temperature of a leukemia patient is abnormally lower than the normal person. If a healthy person’s body temperature is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, a leukemia patient can have a full-blown fever at 99 degrees.

Take your temperature the same time each day for 2-3 weeks and chart the results. This will be evidence to give your doctors to show your lower body temperature.

B. Dental care is very important for a CLL/SLL patient. Please inform your dentist that you are a leukemia patient. Let him or her know about your treatment and side effects.

C. Types of cytopenia:

1. anemia = a deficiency of red blood cells

2. Leukocytes, leucopenia, or neutropenia = a deficiency of white blood cells

3. thrombocytopenia = a deficiency of platelets

4. leukocytopenia = too low WBC

So these are the notes I wrote down at the meeting. These were the topics that were of particular interest to me. I hope you will find this information helpful to you.

Until my next posting … wishing you love and gratitude, because after all… we are all in this together.

SERENDIPITY

The big news is that as of October 4, 2012 the clinical trial at National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland (NCT01500733) has been suspended and is currently under review. This research area of the federal government is one of the most valuable resources for people like me who are left with little options. This means that the additional 17p-deleted leukemia patients, who thought they were new participants in the clinical trial, are temporarily on hold and are not allowed to be on the study until further notice. This does not include me, because I am not a new patient.

Professor Chaya Venkat, my patient advocate, met with the research director of Johnson & Johnson to try to get compassionate use of ibrutinib, since these patients will not live long enough for the drug to be FDA approved. She said she would pay her way to California to meet with the drug company stakeholders. She was denied.

It is also unclear whether untreated 17p-deleted patients (me) will be included in the initial FDA approval. The key is to get enough participants in the trial to have a decent enough sample size to warrant inclusion. Suspension of the trial is a big kick in the stomach. We are 5% of the CLL/SLL cancer population.

NIH will continue to follow patients in this trial and continue to provide the drug as long as the drug company provides the drug to NIH. NIH may continue to monitor patients after the trial.

I have written a letter to President Obama letting him know about the importance of the people who provide funding for the research. What is done here at NIH is of incredible value to patients. This is how medicine is suppose to be.

This posting is about my health update.

BLOOD WORK

The good news is that my white blood count (WBC) has dropped another 25,100, which is heading in the right direction. These are normal: electrolytes, kidney, liver, sodium, potassium, red blood count, hemoglobin (which means I am not anemic), and lungs.

These counts I need to keep an eye on:

Lactate dehydrogenase: slightly higher than normal

Uric acid: slightly higher

Platelet function: slightly lower

I have no eosinophils or basophils in my immune system.

Neutriphils are 9.5%, when they should be 34.0% to 71.1%.

BONE MARROW BIOPSY

According to Dr. Adrian Wiestner in the Hemotology Branch of the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI) of NIH, I have a very good reduction of malignant B-cells in my body and the experiment is going as expected. My bone marrow biopsy indicates lymphoid infiltration involving 20-30%, as opposed to 40-50% eight weeks earlier. Before the clinical trial, researchers knew that the drug would diminish the size of lymph nodes and eradicate the malignant cells in a patients’ blood through apoptosis (cell death). They were not sure it would help the bone marrow, in which much of the malignant cells hide out. Well, now we have a new scientific finding! It is working on the bone marrow too!

CD3 shows scattered positive T-cells. CD3 is required for T-cell activation.

CD34 protein has slightly increased to 3-5% positive. This is an important adhesion molecule and is required for T-cells to enter the lymph nodes. It facilitates cell migration.

I also have positive megakaryocytes, which are large bone marrow cells from which mature blood platelets originate.

CT SCAN

According to the CT scan, there is a decrease in adenopathy (swelling or abnormal enlargement of the lymph nodes) since June 20, 2012. In the September 7, 2012 report, there is evidence of lymphadenopathy, but the number and size of the lymph nodes on the neck have “dramatically decreased” when compared to several months prior.

The CT scan indicated degenerative disease in my neck of which I was aware. Prior to beginning the clinical trial, I was going to physical therapy at The Barrow Institute in Scottsdale. The attending physician had looked at my scans and thought he had pulled the wrong medical records when I entered his office. He said that if he had just looked at the medical scans, he would have said that I was a patient who had to immediately go in for spinal surgery. He said he was surprised at how good I looked. Surprise! But this is another story for another day…

MORE GOOD NEWS

In spite of the fact that I have had some minor side effects, such as slight bruising, a little dizziness, and occasional tenderness in my mouth, I have no breathing problems, no high blood pressure, no appetite issues, no mouth ulcers. I have had a little more fatigue the past cycle (even though my blood work does not indicate a reason for the fatigue). I think I was so excited that I was feeling better that I overdid it a little.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The researchers at NIH are pleased with my progress on this experimental drug. It seems to be doing what it is supposed to do. I am about as happy as an “egg-suckin’ dog in the middle of a chicken coop” (my husband Carl’s words).

One thing I understand is that even when my WBC is normalized (between 4,000 to 10,000). I will still be immune compromised since the drug does not cure me. It simply manages the cancer. Medicines that interferes negatively with Ibrutinib are the following: anti-fungal systemic pills, anti-depression medicine, acid reflux medicine, and blood thinners (a BIG no-no).

Being immune compromised also means that I cannot ever have inoculations with live viruses, such as a live shingle shot. I also cannot be around people who have had the live virus shot for about a week to 10 days. That also includes live virus inoculations given to my grandchildren, my dog, and people at the Walgreens Pharmacy.

When you are first diagnosed, you should have a pneumonia shot, which should last about five years. A flu shot should be given every year, even though it may not help a patient who has had leukemia for a while, but it might help a little.

Since the number one cause of death for patients like me is pneumonia, the herd mentality is in place here. If you have been inoculated and protected from whatever diseases and you are in good health, flock around me, because you will protect me from the germy people. LOL.

I personally will be eternally grateful for the opportunity I have been given to participate in the NIH clinical trial with Ibrutinib (PCI-32765), regardless of whether this experimental drug helps me in the long haul or regardless of whether I continue to have access to it. I know I am helping others in the future, who can benefit from the findings of this scientific research.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Well, it is getting close to my next visit to the National Institutes of Health on the East Coast – more tests, more drugs, and then an informative visit with Dr. Chaya Venkat, the most wonderful patient advocate for leukemia. I will be meeting with her and several others in her living room in Colombia, Maryland. This blog posting is about my random thoughts as I am getting ready for the trip.

CRAP IN MY LIFE

Cancer has a way of making me stop and reflect upon my life journey. I realize that I have gratitude for all my blessings – and I have many. I have also come to terms with the fact that I am oddly respectful of all the negative and painful events in my life that have taught me my life lessons. It wasn’t pretty, but it made me who I am today.

When something that I perceive as negative or painful happens in my life, I ask myself:

“What did that teach me? What am I supposed to learn from this in my life journey? How can I make this event transform me into a better human being? Who do I NOT want to be like?”

Do you remember the children’s song “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Oddly enough, it is usually the words (or lack of them) that are more painful in our adult life. As we get older, it is not the details of the event that we remember, it is how the person made us feel that lingers in our heart and often still causes pain after all these years.

As I reflect back on my life, there are people I hope will forgive me for my real or perceived bad behavior. There are others that I need to forgive – especially for their angry and cruel words directed at my family or me.

WORDS OF MY MOTHER

My mother was one of the most positive people I have ever known. She did, however, hate hospitals and hated to be alone. So one of the nights I spent with her shortly before she died, we were up all night giggling and laughing about the stories of all the guys she dated before she met my Dad. The oncology nurse barged in the room and sternly pronounced, “If I hear any more noise from you two, I will kick you out of the hospital!” My mother, answered back, “You promise?!?” The nurse then realized what she had just said to a terminally-ill cancer patient.

Sorry folks. Having a positive attitude does not cure cancer, but it certainly makes life a lot more bearable for the patient and his or her family and friends. I am not a Pollyanna, but I certainly know that a negative attitude can make you sicker, and it can make life miserable for everyone who loves you. It is such a waste of limited energy. I have learned to avoid toxic people like the plague, and my life has improved substantially.

I have been thinking lately why I am one of the few people that I know who is not on “happy pills.” One of the reasons I believe is because I have such a demented sense of humor and I can find humor even in the most dire situations. I learned that from my Mom. It is definitely a survival tool and a gift she gave me. I thank her every day for teaching me that.

WORDS OF MY FATHER

When I was a child, I was one of those who learned by observing others. My Dad said that was the Japanese part of me. It saved me a lot of pain.

In my life I witnessed the wrenching pain caused by people being cruel to each other, and I learned the importance of mercy and kindness.

In my life I witnessed people stressed out with anxiety, and I learned that I would rather choose inner peace and meditation.

In my life I witnessed the emotional damage angry people have on others and themselves, and I have learned about the importance of gentleness and self-control.

It is interesting that these are also the words of my father. I thank him everyday for teaching me kindness, inner peace, and gentleness. These were teachings from a man who fought in two wars, was wounded, and had his best Army buddy blown up next to him in the foxhole.

THE ULTIMATE REALITY

You do understand that none of us are leaving this world alive? Whether I am blessed with many more years or I die sooner than I like, that is just how it is. As I have said many times before, I am in a win-win situation. I win if I stay alive for years to enjoy my friends, children, and soon-to-be 11 grandchildren. I know where I am going if I die, so I win when that happens. So I don’t care to waste my time wallowing in the quagmire. I like to get on with my life and be grateful for every second.

I am still a work in progress. There is much to be said about a little imperfection. Some times I need to remind myself that I have many blessings in my life. Some times I need to remind myself that there are people in this world much worse off than me.

A SELF-INDULGING MOMENT

Most of the time my blog updates are very clinical. I become the “pigmy nerd mama” that my son used to tease me about when he was in junior high school. This is because that is how I am best able to cope with the diagnosis of leukemia. My friend Nancy understands this well. I take the scientific approach and report the facts, and that has a way of removing me personally from the reality of the stupid cancer. I become the university researcher – a role I have been quite comfortable with for many years, since I left my life as a creative and art director.

The truth is that several women I personally know who have cancer have died way before their time. And moments when this happens cause me to pause and doubt my mortality… But only for a moment, because I only give myself a moment for the luxury to be self-indulgent, and have my self-pity party. And then I must move on, because life moves on.

One beautiful woman with the sweetest disposition died because she forgot to value her life more than the value of her job. She spent hours working overtime to be loyal to her company, and did not seek out cancer specialists who could have saved her, until it was too late. Her family was and probably still is very angry about this.

Another beautiful woman tried every treatment possible, until her body could take no more. She made the brave decision to stop the chemo treatments and die gracefully. I remember giving her a foot massage when she was in the hospital and we laughed about how hospital rooms should be made into spas where sick people could be pampered and powdered. I still think it is a great idea.

And then there was my beautiful friend, who was dismayed because the steroids she had to take made her gain weight and gave her a chipmunk face. “Like to shop?” I asked her. We spent the afternoon trying on all the stretchy and layered clothing that hide imperfections, and smelling different oils from India. It was a girls’ day out and we had a blast. She died the first day of my cancer treatment when I was at National Institutes of Health back East. I couldn’t figure out why she didn’t return my emails and voicemails. In all the chaos, the women in my cancer support group (including me) were not notified until a month after she died.

My friends and my family have been instrumental in supporting my journey. One of the most delightful comments I got was from my friend Laura who told me that she forgets that I have cancer, because I don’t look or act like I do. She asked me if that was a bad thing. I said “absolutely not.” Because you see for that moment in time when we talk and laugh, I am the La Verne she has always known. I am not “La Verne, who has cancer.”

But there are moments when I need the personal confirmation from friends and family that they understand the severity of the invisible face of cancer. I truly value those people in my life who share their time with me, for time is the most valuable gift anyone can give me.

P.S.: I hope this message was not too much of a downer. Sometimes when I write, it gets it all out on the table, and I can move on. The glass of red wine (which I cannot have with this clinical trial) would have really helped. I did buy a bottle of red Zinfandel to send to Dr. Keating; however. He can enjoy it for me…

P.S.S.: This is an anonymous quote about time I would like to share with you. It is a little corny, but hey, what’s new?

Have you been to the bank?

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with 86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening it deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!
Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back.
There is no drawing against the “tomorrow”.
You must live in the present on today’s deposits.
Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running.
Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a pre-mature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.
And remember that time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is mystery
Today is a gift
That’s why it’s called the present!!

Cycle 3, Day 1

UPDATE

Just returned from National Institutes of Health (NIH) in Bethesda, Maryland. I am now beginning my Cycle 3 of my cancer treatment with the experimental drug Ibrutinib (PCI-32765).

LYMPH NODES

According to the CT scan, the largest lymph nodes under my arm pits (there were 15-20 of them) have been reduced to eight enlarged lymph nodes. I had lymph nodes in my abdomen, which are smaller now. The lymph nodes in my neck and clavicle area are also smaller. So this is moving in the right direction. I will receive the full CT scan report in about two weeks.

WHITE BLOOD COUNT (WBC)

In the past month my white blood count has decreased from 135,000 to 110,000. This is good news. Dr. Farooqui told me that the participant who has been in this study the longest has been taking the drug for 8-9 months and he still has not normalized, so don’t be disappointed if I am not. As you recall, normalization of the white blood count is between 3, 500 to 10,000.

Absolute lymphocyte count (ALC) is 104.05 K (normal is 1.18-3.74 K/uL).

BONE MARROW BIOPSY

I will receive the results of the bone marrow biopsy in about two weeks. I will post the results when I get it.

OTHER FINDINGS

My spleen is the same size.

Neutrophils are low at 5.3% (normal = 34-71.1%). Neutrophils are produced in bone marrow and are the body's primary defense against bacterial infection and physiologic stress.

Lymphocytes are 93.8% (normal = 19.3-51.7%).

Monocytes have gotten lower in the past two weeks from 1% to  0.4% (normal = 4.7-12.5%). Time for my B12 shot.

Eosinophils are low at 0.4% (normal = 0.7-5.8%).

These are very helpful in defending the body against parasites.

Eosinophil Absolute is high at 0.44 K/uL (normal = 0.04-0.36 K/uL). Eosinophils become active when you have certain allergic diseases, infections, and other medical conditions, but I do not understand why the Eosinophiils are low and the Eosinophil Absolute count is high. This is a question for my hemotologist/oncologist I see next week.

Basophils are 0 (normal = 0.1-1.2%). Basophils protect the body, killing bacteria and parasites, including external parasites such as ticks. Basophil Absolute is low at 0 (normal = 0.01-0.08 K/uL).

Beta-2-Microglobin is normal at 1.5 mg/L (normal = 0.9-1.7 mg/L).

EXPANDING OUR CLINICAL TRIAL

The last I heard from Dr. Farooqui was that he had met with the drug company on numerous occasions and the stakeholders were NOT going to expand the study. Well the good news is that the drug company changed their mind!

Originally the NIH clinical study had slots for a total of 64 participants (two cohorts -- Cohort A with 32 participants who were over the age of 65, and Cohort B with 32 participants who had 17p deletion, which trumps everything since it is a poor prognosis). The drug company agreed to add six more slots for untreated patients with 17p deletion.

Dr. Farooqui also mentioned that when the drug will get approval (probably in about two years), it will be for relapsed CLL/SLL patients. MD Anderson in Houston and NIH are the sites that are doing studies on untreated 17p deleted patients. More research will have to be done on untreated 17p deleted patients before the drug company approves the drug for them.

Cycle 2, Day 14

PERSONAL MESSAGE

It has taken me three years to finally cry. Believe me, I don’t cry easily. I was afraid to cry before, because I was worried that I would never be able to stop. Now finally something is being done to help me and I am so relieved. I am not good at doing nothing and sitting idly by. These tears are tears of hope.

My friend George asked me what it means when I wrote that I am a person of faith. I told him that I try every day to live my life so that my actions are loving and they speak louder than my words. It doesn’t always work out that way, but I keep trying. Perhaps this quote sums it up better than I can:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39).

And what does this have to do with leukemia? Everything. My faith is my foundation. It is what keeps me grounded in this crazy world with this stupid cancer diagnosis. My faith also makes me accountable. I am reminded of the words of Mahatma Gandhi:

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

There is truth to that. So this is something I need to work on every day.

08-22-2012 BLOODWORK (Cycle 2, Day 14)

My bloodwork from August 24^th – two weeks after the 135,000 white blood cell count – shows a decrease to 114,300. This is about two weeks earlier than the average time in the study. Usually it isn’t until Cycle 3 that this occurs. This means that if all goes well, I am on the downhill slide of getting rid of the malignant B-cells that have been targeted by the Ibrutinib. In two weeks my body has gotten rid of about 20,000 B-cells. When you consider that a normal person only has 3,000 to 10,000 B-cells total in their blood, that is pretty amazing.

My lymphocyte count is still high. Lymphocytes, as you recall, are a type of white blood cell in the immune system.

My I-Bili (Indirect Bilirubin) is slightly elevated at 0.7, when it should be 0-0.6 mg/dL. This has to do with liver function.

My monocyte count is 1% and it should be between 2-8%. The low monocyte count is a side effect of illnesses of the bone marrow. This often also indicates deficiencies in vitamins such as folates and B-12. I am still getting my B-12 shot every month and taking those pink vitamins every day. Maybe that is why I at least have 1%.

My segmented Neuts are low. They are 5% when they should be 45-75%. Neutrophils are produced in bone marrow and are the body's primary defense against bacterial infection and physiologic stress.

My red blood count is normal.

My blood glucose level is normal. That is the amount of sugar present in my blood.

My platelet count is 156 (normal range 130-400). When the number of platelets is too low, that means that you will bleed easily. If it is too high, blood clots resulting in a stroke can occur.

The only side effect I have been having is a little dizziness when I wake up in the morning, look up, or move my head suddenly. I close my eyes, hang on to something, and breathe slowly. It goes away quickly, unlike my vertigo episodes. It is very minor in comparison.

ON A GOOD NOTE

Dr. Farooqui and Dr. Wiestner are having me work on an infographic illustrating how this magical drug works. This was my suggestion, mainly because I want to understand this process better, and many participants and their families also want to be better informed. It is a work in progress, because the experts are just now finding out the details of how Ibrutinib works.

Finishing Cycle 1 and on to Cycle 2

I just completed Cycle 1 of my experimental treatment at NIH and “donating” 12 tubes of blood. My white blood count has increased from 69K on Day 1 to 135K on Day 28. One more cycle of climbing – dumping those bad boys from my lymph nodes into my blood – and then I will brace myself for the decent to a normal range, which is 4,500-10,000 white blood cells per microliter (mcL).

Hemoglobin has remained steady at 13. The average for adult women is 12 to 16 gm/dL. Low hemoglobin level means a low red blood count or anemia.

Unlike normal cells, platelets do not have nucleuses. Their lifespan is only twelve days at most. The main purpose of these cells is to form blood clots. Platelets have gone from 150K on Day 1 and continued to rise to 191K. The normal range is 150K to 400K platelets per microliter (mcL), so I am headed in the right direction.

The NIH computer had issues, so I will get my full blood work numbers mailed to me by Susan Soto, the NIH nurse.

I had my first real symptom on Day 27 – a massive leg cramp in my left Tibialis anterior. I had never had a leg cramp there. I was suddenly woken in the middle of the night and did not know which way to pull or push my foot. I finally figured out I needed to push it like I was pointing my toes in ballet. I did my Lamaze breathing and massaged the muscle until the cramp went away. It seemed like it took forever. The doctor did not know if it was caused by the drug or my overdoing it at the gym on the cycle. One teaspoon of mustard is supposed to help, along with eating my bananas for potassium and replenishing my electrolytes. Mercy!

One of my Ibrutinib colleagues suggested a book for me to read called The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer, (2010). It was written by a physician named Siddhartha Mukherjee. I believe I will put it on my wish list. Still reading the bio of Steve Jobs, along with a couple more books on my night stand.

Just started Cycle 2…

How a BTK inhibitor works

In the average healthy adult between 50 and 70 billion cells die each day due to apoptosis (cell death). B-cells, which are lymphocytes, are part of the immune system. When a person gets a cold, these white blood cells increase, attack the germs, and when they have done their job, they die. All it takes is a mistake in one cell that leads to the cloning of white blood cells that do not die. It is just bad luck.

There has been a decade of scientific research supporting the importance of the B-cell receptor signaling pathway in rapidly out-of-control growing B-cells (leukemia). Dr. Michael Keating from Houston’s M.D. Anderson was the first physician to tell Carl and I about the new drug PCI-32765, which was later named “Ibrutinib.” I remember the excitement in his voice when he showed us photos of before and after lymph nodes, and exclaimed, “This is what you need!”

The proteins in my leukemic white blood cells prevent cell death, so they continue to proliferate in my blood, my lymph nodes, and my organs. Because, quite frankly, blood runs through every organ of your body. The white blood cells crowd out healthy red blood cells and platelets and enlarge lymph nodes, which often affect blood circulation. With a weakened immune system, there is constant worry about getting infections.

BTK is an essential kinase (a type of enzyme) in the signaling pathway downstream of the B-cell receptor. The pathway in which BTK is involved turns several protein enzymes that prevent cell death either on or off.

Scientists are hoping that Ibrutinib, which is a BTK inhibitor, will target the pathway and not affect other organs or tissues of the body. When Ibrutinib molecules target and irreversibly bind to the kinase, it will do so for as long as 24 hours, which means I have to take the drug every day until it stops working.

When Ibrutinib is ingested in the body, the leukemic white blood cells in the lymph nodes dump into the blood stream. This causes a temporary increase in white blood count (WBC) for about two months. When the drug blocks BTK, it induces cell death in white blood cells that refuse to die and the cells leave the body.

That, my friend, is how it is theoretically supposed to work.

Since I am experiencing the mutation in which the short arm of chromosome 17, where the gene for p53 resides, is deleted, my B-cells are free of the tumor suppressor. This is not good, and is a poor prognosis. This is what some of my doctors have termed “a true death sentence.”

However, I beg to differ… I do not believe I have been given a death sentence. I believe Ibrutinib has just given me a life sentence.

Update and future clinical studies

Day 10, Saturday, July 21 I woke up with a runny nose. It only lasted one day and turned into a sore throat, which lasted for a few days. The physician at NIH said it looked like I had a cold. For the past week I have had no runny nose, no sore throat, but lots of coughing. Thursday, August 2^nd I coughed up a small amount of what appeared to be dark red blood. Considering the fact that internal bleeding is one of the side effects of Ibrutinib, I got a little concerned.

Well the good news is that I am not bleeding internally and I do not have pneumonia. But I do have bronchitis – a cold that seems to have worked it’s way to my lungs. So an antibiotic is in order. It’s funny how one gets overly cautious about the toxic combination of drugs, so I would not take the antibiotic until I got the okay from Dr. Farooqui. I can’t take aspirin or Ibiprofin anymore because of it’s blood thinning abilities. No more red wine for La Verne either (BOO! HOO!), until the researchers figure out the issues of alcohol and the experimental drug.

I also wanted to mention that it was announced August 1^st that three additional Ibrutinib Phase 3 clinical trials at undisclosed locations will soon be posted -- two are for CLL/SLL and one is for mantle cell lymphoma (MCL). Pharmacyclics and Janssen (two drug companies) will begin to invite participants into the clinical trials any day. The California-based Pharmacyclics is a biopharmaceutical company developing and commercializing innovative small-molecule drugs for treating cancer and diseases related to the immune system. The New Jersey-based Janssen is a pharmaceutical company of Johnson & Johnson that provides medicines ranging from ADHD to mental health to neurologics to pain management. Jenssen immediately saw the potential of Ibrutinib and paid Pharmacyclics $150 million upfront for a worldwide collaboration. In total Pharmacyclics will potentially receive $975 million for collaborating with Jenssen on the experimental drug I am taking. Hmmm… Who says it’s not all about the money?

The three studies will include the following:

1. A random study of the combination of Bendamustine/Rituximab plus Ibrutinib in comparison to Bendamustine/Rituximab plus a placebo in relapsed or refractory CLL/SLL patients. What this means is that participants sign up for the clinical study and have a 50:50 chance of getting Ibrutinib or the placebo. Bendamustine (tradename Treanda) is a nitrogen mustard used in treating CLL and lymphomas. Rituximab is a chimeric monoclonal antibody, which was FDA-approved in 1997. A placebo is a simulated treatment for a disease intended to deceive the recipient.

2. A frontline study of Ibrutinib alone compared to a comparator (Waiting to find out what this will be) in elderly CLL/SLL patients. Again, as a participant, it is the luck of the draw whether you get Ibrutinib or not. Also, please note that “elderly” means you are 65 or older. Most of the participants in my study are fuming at the use of the term “elderly,” so my doctor calls them the “other” cohort. LOL.

3. A study outside of the United States for patients with relapsed or refractory mantle cell lymphoma (MCL), who have received at least one prior chemotherapy regimen. The participants will be randomized and will receive either Ibrutinib or Temsirolimus. Temsirolimus is an intravenous drug for the treatment of renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer).

Click for the full article:

http://files.shareholder.com/downloads/PCYC/1987224025x0x587541/287a7482-75f0-4e60-881d-a8b7ede67e58/PCYC_News_2012_8_1_General.pdf

I thank God every day that I was able to get into a clinical trial in which every participant received the drug Ibrutinib. I celebrate each day. I will be forever grateful for this opportunity regardless of the outcome.

“(S)He is a wise (wo)man who does not grieve for the things which (s)he has not, but rejoices for those which (s)he has.” — Epictetus